Helping Our Daughters

Hello Everyone,

I know it's been too long since I've posted anything, but the end of summer has been a busy time, as it is for most people. I've been busy clearing things out--taking bags of stuff to the Salvation Army, pulling weeds from my garden, trying to de-clutter a couple of rooms in my house. As I write this, I can't help but think that clearing things out is not just important on a physical level, but on mental and emotional levels as well. I realize that I've also cleared out some thoughts that have been like weeds in my life for a long time. It's like I took a step back and thought, "What is in this thought that supports who I am? What is in this thought that upsets me? Is it worth my sense of well-being to continue thinking this thought?" Periodic weeding of my thoughts-garden is important for me so that I can keep my true spirit alive and continue to grow and thrive as a person. It's best to uproot creeping negative thoughts early so they don't take hold and spread!

What does this have to do about body image and helping our daughters? Well, I think that negative body image is often fueled by negative thoughts about ourselves and our bodies. The same is true for our daughters. If we see our daughters, or any girl or young woman that we love, comparing herself to others or criticizing her appearance, it's important to step in--not in an intrusive or critical way, but in an open, helpful way. It could help to tell your daughter that she is beautiful the way she is, and then let her know that you think a part of her appearance is especially pleasing. As one of the girls says in my book, Picture Perfect, "Everyone gets a prize." It can help to talk to your daughter about her "prizes," and that whatever she considers to be negative about herself isn't half as important as her "prizes," which can include lots of things besides her appearance. In this way, you can help her weed out her negative thoughts about herself, and help her plant some new, self-accepting seeds. Of course, it's important to tend the garden of your own thoughts about yourself too!

Have a great rest of the summer!

Jill